I haven't had a whole lot of time to reflect on the fact that I'm done. My days have been happily filled with friends, phone time, more friend time and the inevitable fro-yo+cupcake trips. Maybe I'm still slightly avoiding the big girl world that awaits me as soon as I walk across the stage tomorrow. Will I feel different after I walk across the stage? probably not. But I do think it's important to acknowledge how I got here.
So a few years ago, I got it in my head that I wanted to go to grad school- for journalism. If you know anything about me- you know that once I have my mind set- I do it, and it's really hard to deter me (you can thank my stubborn dad for that one). It was one of those things- that if I don't do it- I'll probably always regret it. If I didn't do it- it would have turned into one of those nagging thoughts in my mind that won't ever leave me alone. So I did it. I believe that everyone has their own path- sometimes we don't know why we take the direction that we do- in fact, most of the time, we stumble blindly along- yet fully aware that there is a higher being guiding us along. We trust and we let ourselves be guided.
I am also a big believer in doing things that challenge myself. I knew I had to go to grad school- I wanted to- and I did- and I learned SO much. Yes, there were people I encountered along the way who told me I didn't need to go, that I should have jumped right into the workforce. I wavered on my decision sometimes- I second guessed myself, but ultimately, I knew deep down that this is what I had to do. And I don't regret it, and I know more and am smarter because of it. Yes, it was hard work that didn't come without its fair share of character building along the way. But I did it- I did it for myself-and I am proud of that. So please, ignore the people in your lives who might tell you "can't" or "you shouldn't." No- you SHOULD and you CAN do whatever it is you want and you know deep down you need to do.
When I graduated from Baylor in 2008, one of my favorite Spanish professors, Dr. Larson, wrote a facebook note to all of his students. I saved it- and I reflect on it often. It is a reminder of things I have accomplished and things I have yet to learn. Here it is:
We celebrated graduation at Baylor yesterday. I was doing my usual marshalling, and it was my job to put our Masters students in the right order. They were all angels. This was a tough graduation for me because I really like this bunch of graduates. I have worked with many of them since they were freshman, and it's hard to see them go. It's natural that it is now time to move on, but many of them have become my friends, and now they are gone. This is the normal process of life: the children grow up, mature, and move on. This is the way things have been since the beginning of time, but it doesn't make it any easier. I will still miss them. I wish them all the best. I know I can't protect them from the hurts of the world: the broken hearts, the broken bones, the worries, the disappointments, the broken dreams, fear, envy, shame. My focus has always been, however, to give them art and something they can take with them so that when the bad things happen, they can always look back and have a memory, a poem, a story that might help assuage whatever is troubling them. I taught them Spanish, but I hope I also taught them to think. Maybe life will be a little easier if they can do that. Good bye, so long, and farewell but remember that the door is always open. Here's to seeing you back here again soon sometime...
Salinas says it so much better:
Perdóname por ir así buscándote
tan torpemente, dentro
de ti.
Perdóname el dolor alguna vez.
Es que quiero sacar
de ti tu mejor tú.
Ese que no te viste y que yo veo,
nadador por tu fondo, preciosísimo.
Y cogerlo
y tenerlo yo en lo alto como tiene
el árbol la luz última
que le ha encontrado al sol.
Y entonces tú
en su busca vendrías, a lo alto.
Para llegar a él
subida sobre ti, como te quiero,
tocando ya tan sólo a tu pasado
con las puntas rosadas de tus pies,
en tensión todo el cuerpo, ya ascendiendo
de ti a ti misma.
Y que a mi amor entonces le conteste
la nueva criatura que tú eres.
Pedro Salinas
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Every Girl Needs a Gay
and today.... I'm going to get my nails done and go shopping with my gay bestie. Love it. This is my dream come true. Pics to come later!!!!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Hairspray has Multiple Uses
Because this is my blog- it is important to acknowledge everything that happens- even when some of those occurrences make the aforementioned blogger seem less-than glamorous....
That being said- I will tell you about my less-than shining moment that happened to me last weekend.
Ryan called me early- and lured me out of my deep sleep with the promise- that if I got ready and went over to his house, that we could get cinnamon rolls- the good kind. You don't have to ask me twice. I practically jumped out of bed- sadly, the fastest I've probably gotten up in a long time (but that is another issue).
So, I blindly stumbled over to my coffee machine- and then proceed to go back to my room to put my contacts in. Once I finally had my cup of coffee in my hand- and my first couple of sips- I was ready to face the world.... and my new little visitor in my living room.
I went over to open my blinds in my living room- and noticed this "thing" in the corner. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be .... wait for it.... a cockroach... oh balls. Now, before I finish my story- I know what you're thinking. Kira- it's just a little cockroach- no big. NO- it was a BIG mother effer. We are talking about as long as my pinky. Sick.
So... what do I do, what do I do? Well, I had a minor freakout. I stood there- supervising the thing, to make sure it didn't hop up and run somewhere where I couldn't find it. That would be WORST case scenario. I had to think of an action plan- FAST.
So I did what I normally do when I need help with my life- and called boyfriend. The convo went like this:
ME: Boyfriend- I have a cockroach in my living room.
RYAN: So
ME: SO????? (cockroach starts spinning around on its back) *scream*
RYAN: *rolls his eyes*
ME: What do I do????
RYAN: Kill it...
Okay- this is where I have a problem. In his brain.... the quick fix is obviously killing the dumb thing. But: THAT.IS.SICK. It was big. I just couldn't bring myself to step on it and have its guts spew all over my floor. I get the creeps just thinking about it.
So with Ryan's voice streaming over the phone to just "Kill the thing," I grab every girl's secret weapon: Hairspray. Now, I know this might seem strange- oh no... It's been proven. This stuff works for everything- for both beautification- and bug killing.
Armed with my hairspray (I pulled out the big guns and used used my Big Sexy Hair kind) I ran into my closet, put on some tennis shoes, stuck paper towels to the bottom of them- and returned back to my living room to face my arch-nemesis.
I hairsprayed him like a pro. He had no chance-lets be honest. There was a moment when I thought my defense was wavering. I sprayed him and he started spinning around on his back- I thought he was going to attack me. Nope- I wasn't going to let that happen. After I doused him with a good amount of hairspray (he wasn't moving anywhere after that), it was time to step on him. Gross. So, with the paper
towels stuck to the bottom of my shoe- I plugged my ears, closed my eyes- and went for it.
Kira 1, roach 0.
That being said- I will tell you about my less-than shining moment that happened to me last weekend.
Ryan called me early- and lured me out of my deep sleep with the promise- that if I got ready and went over to his house, that we could get cinnamon rolls- the good kind. You don't have to ask me twice. I practically jumped out of bed- sadly, the fastest I've probably gotten up in a long time (but that is another issue).
So, I blindly stumbled over to my coffee machine- and then proceed to go back to my room to put my contacts in. Once I finally had my cup of coffee in my hand- and my first couple of sips- I was ready to face the world.... and my new little visitor in my living room.
I went over to open my blinds in my living room- and noticed this "thing" in the corner. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be .... wait for it.... a cockroach... oh balls. Now, before I finish my story- I know what you're thinking. Kira- it's just a little cockroach- no big. NO- it was a BIG mother effer. We are talking about as long as my pinky. Sick.
So... what do I do, what do I do? Well, I had a minor freakout. I stood there- supervising the thing, to make sure it didn't hop up and run somewhere where I couldn't find it. That would be WORST case scenario. I had to think of an action plan- FAST.
So I did what I normally do when I need help with my life- and called boyfriend. The convo went like this:
ME: Boyfriend- I have a cockroach in my living room.
RYAN: So
ME: SO????? (cockroach starts spinning around on its back) *scream*
RYAN: *rolls his eyes*
ME: What do I do????
RYAN: Kill it...
Okay- this is where I have a problem. In his brain.... the quick fix is obviously killing the dumb thing. But: THAT.IS.SICK. It was big. I just couldn't bring myself to step on it and have its guts spew all over my floor. I get the creeps just thinking about it.
So with Ryan's voice streaming over the phone to just "Kill the thing," I grab every girl's secret weapon: Hairspray. Now, I know this might seem strange- oh no... It's been proven. This stuff works for everything- for both beautification- and bug killing.
Armed with my hairspray (I pulled out the big guns and used used my Big Sexy Hair kind) I ran into my closet, put on some tennis shoes, stuck paper towels to the bottom of them- and returned back to my living room to face my arch-nemesis.
I hairsprayed him like a pro. He had no chance-lets be honest. There was a moment when I thought my defense was wavering. I sprayed him and he started spinning around on his back- I thought he was going to attack me. Nope- I wasn't going to let that happen. After I doused him with a good amount of hairspray (he wasn't moving anywhere after that), it was time to step on him. Gross. So, with the paper
towels stuck to the bottom of my shoe- I plugged my ears, closed my eyes- and went for it.
Kira 1, roach 0.
Lately...
I've been neglecting my blog- I know, and I'm sorry. I thought I'd have all of this free time post-finishing classes+master's reports+projects, but my calendar has been full. But this time- it's full of the fun stuff- aka- I've been catching up with friends I have been neglecting because of school. And get this: IT.FEELS.GREAT!!!
There is something so liberating about going to have a drink with some friends and not have a million "to-do's" running through my head. For the first time in a long time- I am free-maybe not for long- but I sure am enjoying it while it lasts.
I am a free woman and it feels fabulous. I even got a little crazy this week- and went to happy hour like every day.... because I could. ;) And it was worth it....
Here are some photos of some of my fun:
There is something so liberating about going to have a drink with some friends and not have a million "to-do's" running through my head. For the first time in a long time- I am free-maybe not for long- but I sure am enjoying it while it lasts.
I am a free woman and it feels fabulous. I even got a little crazy this week- and went to happy hour like every day.... because I could. ;) And it was worth it....
Here are some photos of some of my fun:
Brunch with the girls
Post-brunch self portrait
Me and Reshma at Oasis before everyone else showed up
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Finish Line
Tomorrow is my last day of school- ever (well for now at least), and I feel so strange. I have some great things I need to write about soon- I've bee finishing up the master's report and a paper I have due tomorrow as well as a presentation. Once I'm done with that- I can spare some time tomorrow to share with you the great things from this week. For now- I'm sharing this song with you- "Still" by Tim McGraw. Love it. "When this road gets crazy/ And tries to break me/ I've had all I can stand/ I can close my eyes no matter where I am/ And just be still"
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Happy Cinco de Mayo
Because I'm a grad student- read: trying like crazy to finish my master's report, I'll be partaking in Cinco de Mayo in my hot pink Mexican dress which I love oh so much.... and drinking a cerveza while I finish my final edits....
I can celebrate cinco another day.... maybe on the ocho...
Honorary past cinco pics to come later.
I can celebrate cinco another day.... maybe on the ocho...
Honorary past cinco pics to come later.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Big Girls Don't Cry....
Really- we don't. We take bubble baths. And get this: They. Are. Magical.
This day defeated me. I could feel it happening the moment I got the email. Under the facade of a smile, I was losing my grip on the situation. And when that happens- I turn to my people- and I did- and they came through.
I sat staring at the screen. *Okay, count to ten- remain calm.* This is a complicated situation- one best not relived. Long story short, I almost had to find a *new* second reader for my master's report, which is due on Friday because my second reader wanted me to change something I was not comfortable changing because I stand firm by my journalistic integrity. I am not a combative person- unless I feel as if I have been wronged. And today, I was ready to wage war. After a series of phone calls, emails and text messages between me, my first reader, my second reader and others willing to step in to fight the fight with me- the situation still wasn't resolved. If you know me, you know I dislike NOT being in control of a situation. And still not knowing whether or not my second reader will sign my form tomorrow is KILLING me. (with a capital "K"). But knowing that I have my people there- to offer kind words, emails, thoughts and prayers my way- makes the difference and makes the "not-knowing" just a tad more tolerable.
Put the smile on- and hope for a better tomorrow.
After I spent some time venting to Ryan about my situation- and him reassuring me that I AM right and that I shouldn't compromise anything- it was time to head to the airport to pick up Reshma.
Take a deep breath and smile.
The ride to the airport was nice. Not much traffic and some John Mayer on the radio. The day was redeeming itself. I had it all worked out in my head. Pick Reshma up, drop her off, revise my master's report and finish homework. Okay- the day was even seeming slightly enjoyable at this point.
Picked Reshma up- drove her home, dropped her off. No problem. See Starbucks on my way back to my apartment. Decide I deserve an iced white mocha. Stop in, grab my coffee and leave. Get in my car- and attempt to drive back home. Nope- not happening- not today. I had barely made it out of the parking lot- when it died. It just died on me. I was defeated. I don't cry- ever- but I wanted to reenact a scene from a movie. I wanted to hit my steering wheel- and cry. In the parking lot. I wanted to so bad. But I didn't.
I called AAA instead. Requested a tow truck. Then, I called Reshma to come save me. And she did. Thank goodness for having people- good people- people who offer to help- and people who tell you that they are sorry that your day is sucking- and who agree, that some tequila shots might indeed improve the day.
When she dropped me off at my apartment, I was drained- emotionally drained. I wanted to forget everything bad about today. So I took a bubble bath. A long, warm, not-getting-out until my skin is wrinkled like a raisin- bubble bath. I pulled out the big guns tonight- I needed to- so I lit some candles. Sitting in a tub filled to the brim with bubbles really helps you put things in perspective.
Like I said before- bubble baths are magical- they have the ability to wash away the grime from your day- and when you are finished- when all the things that dirtied up your day are clean again- it's time to get out and move on.
So now, my soul feels better- it is rested- it is clean. Tomorrow is a new day with new promises. And once again, I am reminded of His grace. Because when we are the most broken- or when we have the worst day- we can wake up again tomorrow- and know that it will be different.
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are NEW every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:21-23
This day defeated me. I could feel it happening the moment I got the email. Under the facade of a smile, I was losing my grip on the situation. And when that happens- I turn to my people- and I did- and they came through.
I sat staring at the screen. *Okay, count to ten- remain calm.* This is a complicated situation- one best not relived. Long story short, I almost had to find a *new* second reader for my master's report, which is due on Friday because my second reader wanted me to change something I was not comfortable changing because I stand firm by my journalistic integrity. I am not a combative person- unless I feel as if I have been wronged. And today, I was ready to wage war. After a series of phone calls, emails and text messages between me, my first reader, my second reader and others willing to step in to fight the fight with me- the situation still wasn't resolved. If you know me, you know I dislike NOT being in control of a situation. And still not knowing whether or not my second reader will sign my form tomorrow is KILLING me. (with a capital "K"). But knowing that I have my people there- to offer kind words, emails, thoughts and prayers my way- makes the difference and makes the "not-knowing" just a tad more tolerable.
Put the smile on- and hope for a better tomorrow.
After I spent some time venting to Ryan about my situation- and him reassuring me that I AM right and that I shouldn't compromise anything- it was time to head to the airport to pick up Reshma.
Take a deep breath and smile.
The ride to the airport was nice. Not much traffic and some John Mayer on the radio. The day was redeeming itself. I had it all worked out in my head. Pick Reshma up, drop her off, revise my master's report and finish homework. Okay- the day was even seeming slightly enjoyable at this point.
Picked Reshma up- drove her home, dropped her off. No problem. See Starbucks on my way back to my apartment. Decide I deserve an iced white mocha. Stop in, grab my coffee and leave. Get in my car- and attempt to drive back home. Nope- not happening- not today. I had barely made it out of the parking lot- when it died. It just died on me. I was defeated. I don't cry- ever- but I wanted to reenact a scene from a movie. I wanted to hit my steering wheel- and cry. In the parking lot. I wanted to so bad. But I didn't.
I called AAA instead. Requested a tow truck. Then, I called Reshma to come save me. And she did. Thank goodness for having people- good people- people who offer to help- and people who tell you that they are sorry that your day is sucking- and who agree, that some tequila shots might indeed improve the day.
When she dropped me off at my apartment, I was drained- emotionally drained. I wanted to forget everything bad about today. So I took a bubble bath. A long, warm, not-getting-out until my skin is wrinkled like a raisin- bubble bath. I pulled out the big guns tonight- I needed to- so I lit some candles. Sitting in a tub filled to the brim with bubbles really helps you put things in perspective.
Like I said before- bubble baths are magical- they have the ability to wash away the grime from your day- and when you are finished- when all the things that dirtied up your day are clean again- it's time to get out and move on.
So now, my soul feels better- it is rested- it is clean. Tomorrow is a new day with new promises. And once again, I am reminded of His grace. Because when we are the most broken- or when we have the worst day- we can wake up again tomorrow- and know that it will be different.
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are NEW every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:21-23
Trying to Remain Calm
Some days are just trying....
They can push your buttons like no other- and make you just want to crawl back into bed and start your day over.
and today has been one of those days.
So for now- I'm looking for the humor (because it does exist) and surrounding myself with my team!
And tomorrow is looking better already....
They can push your buttons like no other- and make you just want to crawl back into bed and start your day over.
and today has been one of those days.
So for now- I'm looking for the humor (because it does exist) and surrounding myself with my team!
And tomorrow is looking better already....
Sunday, May 2, 2010
On books, reading and writing
I have been neglecting my always-growing reading list for the past two years- sad right? I am where I am today because I love to read. I love everything about books- the way they feel, the way they smell, holding them in my hands (no Kindle for me), the way they challenge the way you think and the power they have to transport you to another place.
I am a huge proponent of teaching kids to read at a young age. Ibelieve know that my mind operates the way it does today because of the time my parents spent teaching me the importance of reading. It allows you to dream- and tickles that creative muscle that everyone has in them somewhere.
That being said, I can't wait to get started on my stack of books that have collected a thin layer of dust by my bedside since I've been in grad school. I like them all: memoirs, fiction, non-fiction, mystery, chick-lit, children's books, long, short, sad, happy- I don't discriminate.
When I was younger, my mom would take me to the library every week and we would come back home with stacks and stacks of books that I couldn't wait to discover. Things haven't changed much- except now I'm browsing through the grown-ups section at the book store.
So when I'm free, I can't wait to start up that relationship with my books that has been put on the shelf (so to speak) for too long now. I hope they missed me as much as I have missed them. The first book that I think I will read is:
I can never pass up a good dog book- I'm a sucker for them.....
Any other suggestions? Feel free to pass them along to me....
I am a huge proponent of teaching kids to read at a young age. I
That being said, I can't wait to get started on my stack of books that have collected a thin layer of dust by my bedside since I've been in grad school. I like them all: memoirs, fiction, non-fiction, mystery, chick-lit, children's books, long, short, sad, happy- I don't discriminate.
When I was younger, my mom would take me to the library every week and we would come back home with stacks and stacks of books that I couldn't wait to discover. Things haven't changed much- except now I'm browsing through the grown-ups section at the book store.
So when I'm free, I can't wait to start up that relationship with my books that has been put on the shelf (so to speak) for too long now. I hope they missed me as much as I have missed them. The first book that I think I will read is:
Any other suggestions? Feel free to pass them along to me....
On graduating
I have a special graduation note that I need to share with you all- closer to graduation- remind me... I don't want to forget!!!
Home Stretch
This time next week....
1. My master's report will be turned in
2. I'll be finishing up the final edits on my final assignment to be turned in... ever
3. I won't know what to do with myself
4. I can turn looking for a job- into my full time job
For the time being- I'm kind of freaking out- is this really happening? Did two years really go by this fast? Yes, yes they did. So now I'm sitting here.... on the brink of a new chapter and great things to come, but part of me is still desperately clinging on to my last few days as a student. But, I have to let go soon- after all, there is a life to be lived- and how sweet it will be.
1. My master's report will be turned in
2. I'll be finishing up the final edits on my final assignment to be turned in... ever
3. I won't know what to do with myself
4. I can turn looking for a job- into my full time job
For the time being- I'm kind of freaking out- is this really happening? Did two years really go by this fast? Yes, yes they did. So now I'm sitting here.... on the brink of a new chapter and great things to come, but part of me is still desperately clinging on to my last few days as a student. But, I have to let go soon- after all, there is a life to be lived- and how sweet it will be.
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