How Time Flies

I've been in a sentimental mood lately. Endings are weird, goodbyes are the worst thing in the world. Always a fan of an "I'll see ya later," as opposed to a tearful "goodbye," I've been thinking a lot about the "I'll see ya laters," that will inevitably occur after I walk the stage for graduation on May 22nd.

Two years ago, I found myself fresh out of undergrad and I had the fancy degree hanging on my wall to prove it. I was about to start the newest chapter in my life: grad school.  Grad school is hard- period.

So anyways, two years ago, I found myself willing away the next two years of grad school so I could begin my career. Don't get me wrong- I have enjoyed grad school from the beginning, because I like to learn, but there has been a part of me that is so excited at the prospect of finally starting my career. The days couldn't go by fast enough. I counted down the days until the end of each semester. I wrote, I studied and I read furiously- and then I wrote some more. All the while, hoping THE day would come- the day when I wouldn't be a student anymore.

As I find myself a mere 12 class days away from being done with my career as a student forever, there is a part of my that wants to step on the brakes as hard and as fast as I can. I just need a moment to "be." I have realized that all the time I spent wishing, hoping and imagining the feeling I would feel when I turned in my last paper- or when I handed in my thesis- I realize that I have forgotten to enjoy  some of the everyday triumphs that I might experience like getting an "A" on a paper I spent months working on- or meeting every single one of my deadlines.

So, here I find myself about two weeks out from May 10- the day I will hand in my last paper. I can taste freedom- it's tangible now- I can almost reach out and touch it, but for now, I'm trying to relish the simplicity of the moment.

In no way do I mean my life is simplistic right now. In fact, I have a million thoughts running circles in my head at any given moment. My poor brain feels like it's running a marathon. I still have about 11,000 words that need to be polished and re-written. What I mean-is that I'm trying to take mental snapshots of what it is like to be a student- before I am not one anymore. I'm trying to preserve the way I still get nervous when I have to give a presentation and trying to hold onto that "morning after" feeling when I've stayed up too late putting the final touches on my story. I'm trying to remember what it is like to be carefree and not worried about bills or work or being an adult. And most importantly, I'm trying to be thankful- for all that is to come in these next few weeks and for all the happy moments and "lasts" that will be experienced.